So I built my tattoo. Designed it from scratch. And that I did this is a big deal to me.
I've been told that you should let the artist come up with their ideas for the image, and I truly respect that truth. But I feel that I too am an artist - my composition is, has been, and until my end shall be my Life. Up to the point where this tattoo is etched into my skin, in fact, is what this piece represents to me. In that merit, I don't imagine any one person's vision could more correctly represent what I intend.
This obviously means a lot to me. It was a project I started about a year ago, when I finally changed my stance on whether or not I'd ever have a tattoo. I wasn't raised in a household that encourages this. But the message in this piece is, "This is who I have been for the past 23 years. And though in 10 years time my mentality will very likely change, I will look upon this piece to recall a history that I can never change, in a fashion that will remind me that this was what important to me, then."
Hopefully I'll find a SoCalifornian tattoo artist that would be capable of doing this complex and very detailed piece as I've dreamed it. (And maybe at some awesome "Wow I love the piece so much that I'd do it for this cheap"-type price ;)
Here are the details, broken down to anyone interested in "Why"...
Ok, so first, there are numbers to note - 7, which is basically my lucky number with regards to Numerology and of 2 of my favorites (the other, 23); and 3, which is not a favorite but has always held some significance to me.
The tattoo can be broken down into Seven parts:
The Planet:So I've always loved the planet Saturn.. Didn't realize that I should have because of my astrology until well after my whole "I love the Universe and want to see it all when I grow up" phase in elementary school ha. So I like to think that gives it some importance. Obviously its not to the
same specs as the gaseous planet itself.. I wanted the rock at its center to signify how rough a project I am.. Kinda barren and lonely at times, too. And obviously the ring/road is for yet another purpose.
The Symbols:
Each of the symbols signify what is at the center of who I am. In terms of philosophies, interests, understandings.. These are the basis of my structure.. All connected with the Three lines that sway up and down between each symbol to express their connectivity and interactivity, and also to further my philosophy of balance and equilibrium. Note that their are Seven different symbols:
(from front-most symbol, clockwise)
1. The symbol for Saturn - the "crescent below the cross" - part to further the main image of the tattoo, but also because I see that symbol as both my strengths and what hinders me. I think of it as the part of my horoscope that has the power to accomplish things on a physical plane of existence -
the side of me that relishes hard work, determination, boldness, power. And in that token, it also hinders me mentally - the one thing about me that tries to hold me away from the freedom I need in my life.
2. The Book symbol - to signify knowledge and wisdom. From since I was very young the only thing I've ever truly wanted was to know and understand Everything.. Though not as strongly expressed as it had been then, it's a huge underlying aspect of who I am and how I respond/interact with the world around me.
3. The symbol for Karma - A Really big thing for me - as further expressed with my need for balance and how I find myself concerned when I disrupt it.. Everything I have done, still do, or will do will have its consequences, and I like to be reminded of that. Hopefully to make me a
better person with each decision..
4. The symbol for Capricorn - I have this across from the Saturn symbol for a reason. Though they should mean similar (if not the same) things, I use this symbol to signify the weakness in my sign - the sadness and self-induced despair, the hard-headedness.. But also the underlying and
potent well of emotion, the passion inside of me, the love and desire to be loved, and how all of those things work to hopefully present my fullest potential in such regard.
5. The Question Mark - Important to me because I Always feel lost. I'm always on a journey to some mystic place, to learn some thing, and I'm always stumbling around in the darkness.. I'm certain that I have no clue at all what I'm doing or where I'm going in my life... I'm terrible with
directions.. But for all the time I spend being lost, I'm still here, still alive, and with every step I grow more wise, more experienced... I've come to understand that for however lost in my life I may (and most likely will) ever be, I end up just fine for it, if not better off and stronger for it.
6. 4:20.......... Note that it is across from "knowledge and wisdom", as they don't tend to work well together lol.
7. Music - Cleff note - Right beside 4:20 for good reason.. lol. Music is my life, dude. It defines my mood, remakes my spirit, reinvigorates my soul and expresses my passions. There's really no other thing to me more important.. It's just my most loyal and truthful love.
"The Road Less Traveled":
The Quotes:
Now these are the quotes that have either again meant a lot to me (because of the artist or because of its meaning) or express how I think right now.Note that there are Seven:
(Don't fault me for some of these selections being semi-gay.. ha)
- "Sitting. Smoking. Feeling High."
- "The Universe works on a math equation that never even ever really even is going to end."
- "Actin funny, but I don't know why - 'scuse me, while I kiss the sky."
- "Do you wonder where the self resides? Is it in your head or between your sides, and who will be the one who will decide its true location?"
- "Oh, all that I know, there's nothing here to run from. 'Cus yeah, everybody here's got somebody to lean on."
- "Understand and wisdom became the rhythm that I played to and became a slave to master Self; A rich man is one with knowledge, happiness, and his health."
- "I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me, so I can say this is the way that I used to be."
"The Side of the Road":
"An Eye on Time":
There are two aspects to this -
1. I've always, my entire life, found eyes mesmerizing.. They are truly the gateway to the soul.. Surely one doesn't learn of specific details just staring into one's eyes.. But there is so much to read in someone's eyes. They are, in fact, the absolute most important things to me in another person.
2. I've always, my entire life, figured that I'm destined for great things.. Statistically, I'd say its probably the right thing to assume delusions of grandeur on that one.. But my philosophy has been that 'time will tell', or that 'I have time'.. I figure all of my problems now are so small and insignificant, that in time once I get over and beyond these small roadblocks in my life, I'll be whatever greatness is destined... Or not.. So where under the iris of the eye it reads, "You thought you had time.. Were you right?" - I want to look back on that question 10 years from whenever I get this tattoo done and be able to answer this question, honestly.
"The Graph to Everything":
Ok, so this one's a little More weird.. lol. Ok, so you know how when you're high sometimes you go into these scenarios in your head and just let them play out until you forget what you were thinking about in the first place? I hope other people do this or I'm just crazy... lol. But I always 'freestyle' it out for a while.. Let my mind take as many tangents away from an original thought as it desires when I'm sufficiently blitzed.. I let a lot of 'what if' scenarios play through in my head.. And no matter what the scenario.. the question.. the thought.. If I'm just high enough to think through it, a graph similar to the one in my tat always pops up in my head, and it Always is the answer to whatever the question/scenario is.. Ha! I Swear to you, it Always happens, and it's Always the right answer. A Graph. Just like that one. For Years. For whatever scenario, if I let it work through enough (and not try to 'catch the thought'). Of course, by the end of it all, I usually forget what the original Question was in the first place.. But the graph is ever persistent. So I naturally assume that maybe somehow this graph is either the answer to the Universe, or something that may be important to my future (as I can hardly recall where it would have come from in my past). So I thought it was important to introduce to the entire piece... Maybe one day I'll look at it and find that it answers for me a Real problem :) ...Or maybe I'm just dumb.. lol. Either way, I feel it's pretty important. Ha.
