Saturday, December 19, 2009

My Future Tattoo - Thus far untitled.

So I built my tattoo. Designed it from scratch. And that I did this is a big deal to me.
I've been told that you should let the artist come up with their ideas for the image, and I truly respect that truth. But I feel that I too am an artist - my composition is, has been, and until my end shall be my Life. Up to the point where this tattoo is etched into my skin, in fact, is what this piece represents to me. In that merit, I don't imagine any one person's vision could more correctly represent what I intend.

This obviously means a lot to me. It was a project I started about a year ago, when I finally changed my stance on whether or not I'd ever have a tattoo. I wasn't raised in a household that encourages this. But the message in this piece is, "This is who I have been for the past 23 years. And though in 10 years time my mentality will very likely change, I will look upon this piece to recall a history that I can never change, in a fashion that will remind me that this was what important to me, then."

Hopefully I'll find a SoCalifornian tattoo artist that would be capable of doing this complex and very detailed piece as I've dreamed it. (And maybe at some awesome "Wow I love the piece so much that I'd do it for this cheap"-type price ;)

Here are the details, broken down to anyone interested in "Why"...

Ok, so first, there are numbers to note - 7, which is basically my lucky number with regards to Numerology and of 2 of my favorites (the other, 23); and 3, which is not a favorite but has always held some significance to me.

 The tattoo can be broken down into Seven parts:

The Planet:

So I've always loved the planet Saturn.. Didn't realize that I should have because of my astrology until well after my whole "I love the Universe and want to see it all when I grow up" phase in elementary school ha. So I like to think that gives it some importance. Obviously its not to the
same specs as the gaseous planet itself.. I wanted the rock at its center to signify how rough a project I am.. Kinda barren and lonely at times, too. And obviously the ring/road is for yet another purpose.

The Symbols:

Each of the symbols signify what is at the center of who I am. In terms of philosophies, interests, understandings.. These are the basis of my structure.. All connected with the Three lines that sway up and down between each symbol to express their connectivity and interactivity, and also to further my philosophy of balance and equilibrium. Note that their are Seven different symbols:
(from front-most symbol, clockwise)

1. The symbol for Saturn - the "crescent below the cross" - part to further the main image of the tattoo, but also because I see that symbol as both my strengths and what hinders me. I think of it as the part of my horoscope that has the power to accomplish things on a physical plane of existence -
the side of me that relishes hard work, determination, boldness, power. And in that token, it also hinders me mentally - the one thing about me that tries to hold me away from the freedom I need in my life. 
2. The Book symbol - to signify knowledge and wisdom. From since I was very young the only thing I've ever truly wanted was to know and understand Everything.. Though not as strongly expressed as it had been then, it's a huge underlying aspect of who I am and how I respond/interact with the world around me.
3. The symbol for Karma - A Really big thing for me - as further expressed with my need for balance and how I find myself concerned when I disrupt it.. Everything I have done, still do, or will do will have its consequences, and I like to be reminded of that. Hopefully to make me a
better person with each decision..
4. The symbol for Capricorn - I have this across from the Saturn symbol for a reason. Though they should mean similar (if not the same) things, I use this symbol to signify the weakness in my sign - the sadness and self-induced despair, the hard-headedness.. But also the underlying and
potent well of emotion, the passion inside of me, the love and desire to be loved, and how all of those things work to hopefully present my fullest potential in such regard.
5. The Question Mark - Important to me because I Always feel lost. I'm always on a journey to some mystic place, to learn some thing, and I'm always stumbling around in the darkness.. I'm certain that I have no clue at all what I'm doing or where I'm going in my life... I'm terrible with
directions.. But for all the time I spend being lost, I'm still here, still alive, and with every step I grow more wise, more experienced... I've come to understand that for however lost in my life I may (and most likely will) ever be, I end up just fine for it, if not better off and stronger for it.
6. 4:20.......... Note that it is across from "knowledge and wisdom", as they don't tend to work well together lol.
7. Music - Cleff note - Right beside 4:20 for good reason.. lol. Music is my life, dude. It defines my mood, remakes my spirit, reinvigorates my soul and expresses my passions. There's really no other thing to me more important.. It's just my most loyal and truthful love.

"The Road Less Traveled":

From the beginning of designing this thing, I've always liked the idea of a road.. To present the journey that I've walked my entire life thus far, to express my need for freedom and finding my way.. It surrounds the entire piece because it is important enough to engulf it -- all I know and all I will ever know is found on this road that I alone walk.. Get it?

The Quotes:

Now these are the quotes that have either again meant a lot to me (because of the artist or because of its meaning) or express how I think right now.
Note that there are Seven:
(Don't fault me for some of these selections being semi-gay.. ha)

- "Sitting. Smoking. Feeling High."
- "The Universe works on a math equation that never even ever really even is going to end."
- "Actin funny, but I don't know why - 'scuse me, while I kiss the sky."
- "Do you wonder where the self resides? Is it in your head or between your sides, and who will be the one who will decide its true location?"
- "Oh, all that I know, there's nothing here to run from. 'Cus yeah, everybody here's got somebody to lean on."
- "Understand and wisdom became the rhythm that I played to and became a slave to master Self; A rich man is one with knowledge, happiness, and his health."
- "I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me, so I can say this is the way that I used to be."

"The Side of the Road":

This section is mainly the one that's incomplete. But the idea here is to present my vices... This is where I am, right now. These are the things that I enjoy and that I'm into, right now.. And the very same things I don't expect to care for as much in my older years. So far I have the (Three) shrooms and a cig bud.. I'm thinking I should add maybe a broken beer bottle or smashed can, maybe? Pot won't be there.. I intend to be an old smokey hippie.. lol This part still needs some work, though.

"An Eye on Time":

There are two aspects to this -
1. I've always, my entire life, found eyes mesmerizing.. They are truly the gateway to the soul.. Surely one doesn't learn of specific details just staring into one's eyes.. But there is so much to read in someone's eyes. They are, in fact, the absolute most important things to me in another person.

2. I've always, my entire life, figured that I'm destined for great things.. Statistically, I'd say its probably the right thing to assume delusions of grandeur on that one.. But my philosophy has been that 'time will tell', or that 'I have time'.. I figure all of my problems now are so small and insignificant, that in time once I get over and beyond these small roadblocks in my life, I'll be whatever greatness is destined... Or not.. So where under the iris of the eye it reads, "You thought you had time.. Were you right?" - I want to look back on that question 10 years from whenever I get this tattoo done and be able to answer this question, honestly.

"The Graph to Everything":

Ok, so this one's a little More weird.. lol. Ok, so you know how when you're high sometimes you go into these scenarios in your head and just let them play out until you forget what you were thinking about in the first place? I hope other people do this or I'm just crazy... lol. But I always 'freestyle' it out for a while.. Let my mind take as many tangents away from an original thought as it desires when I'm sufficiently blitzed.. I let a lot of 'what if' scenarios play through in my head.. And no matter what the scenario.. the question.. the thought.. If I'm just high enough to think through it, a graph similar to the one in my tat always pops up in my head, and it Always is the answer to whatever the question/scenario is.. Ha! I Swear to you, it Always happens, and it's Always the right answer. A Graph. Just like that one. For Years. For whatever scenario, if I let it work through enough (and not try to 'catch the thought'). Of course, by the end of it all, I usually forget what the original Question was in the first place.. But the graph is ever persistent. So I naturally assume that maybe somehow this graph is either the answer to the Universe, or something that may be important to my future (as I can hardly recall where it would have come from in my past). So I thought it was important to introduce to the entire piece... Maybe one day I'll look at it and find that it answers for me a Real problem :) ...Or maybe I'm just dumb.. lol. Either way, I feel it's pretty important. Ha.

Capricorn Horoscope for week of December 17, 2009

Capricorn Horoscope for week of December 17, 2009
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Even if you don't plan to go to school in 2010, I suggest you make plans to further your education. Your current levels of knowledge and skill may be quite impressive, but they simply won't be enough to keep you growing and adapting forever. Eventually, you're going to need to learn more. And the coming months will be a perfect time, from an astrological perspective, to get that process underway. Here are a few questions to jumpstart your meditations: What ignorance do you find yourself having to increasingly hide? What subjects captivate your imagination and tantalize your future self? What skills and know-how do your competitors have that you don't?

- Horoscope courtesy of Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Cory vs Christmas vs Religion..

          I have to first thank @VanityWonder for inspiring me to write this one. She's a beautiful woman with (Obviously) a much stronger religious compass than my own. What had started as a discussion on whether or not one should allow their children to believe in Santa Claus evolved into how one sees the holiday they celebrate, then into whether one considers the religious aspects of Christmas. Religion has never been one of my favorite topics.. There's no way to Not disrespect someone's entire self and structure when you don't agree with what they believe in - what they have faith in..

          But I Hate biting my tongue to spare feelings. It's bullshit, and your ideas to me sometimes are limited, ignorant, and based on words transcribed soooo long ago, that surely have been misinterpreted thousands of times over, Daily. Her point is a valid one - Christmas is about the celebrating the birth of Christ, and Santa has no role in that so why should he be involved in her kids' lives? My view on this, though, is that it's about more than who brought the presents. Or who takes the one bite out of the cookies left over for Santa. The holiday isn't about celebrating the birth of Christ - it's an arbitrary date because no one knows when he was born. It isn't about religion to me. And I feel comfortable enjoying a holiday that I love in that capacity because I feel that is how all things evolve.. There's some reason or another that starts something, the meaning over time is lost or skewed, and then it means something else (for better or worse). Christmas hasn't been about whatever it's intended nature was since we started buying gifts..

          So I celebrate the "spirit", as it were. I celebrate being with my family - getting my little bros some awesome video games they've wanted and them being happy. Christmas music, Christmas movies, Christmas cookies, a Christmas tree, Christmas decorations... And all the warmth one could imagine would be in that scene of togetherness and festivity. I acknowledge the aspects of the holiday that I actually feel, can almost quantify, and I disregard (though still consider myself aware of) the other aspects that have lost meaning to me and my family. And I want my kids to believe in Santa when they're young enough.. There are ever fewer chances to just be a kid, nowadays.. I don't want my children incapable of dreaming beyond what they will soon enough find are the limitations to their world. Santa is a way to make this holiday for my kids all the more magical, mesmerizing.. And I would Love to be the father that got up 4 in the morning to sneak the presents under the tree, and (even tho my brothers and I knew it was our parents doing this) seeing how effin excited and elated they are to see all that expensive junk under a beautiful tree..

          The dialog evolved, and as things with regards to Christianity often do, they got uglier. If you do not believe as a Christian does then surely you're evil enough to deserve their awful Hell.. Well I say fuck that.

          I believe as I believe because this is where my life experiences brought my mental state. I'm part of a Christian family, so the Book has been thrust upon me - and I left it alone when I realized that "Why" is not a question to ask in it's regard. People Don't Think for themselves.. Fed the same scripture since on the teet, and it becomes their truth/belief... That's not me.. I'm hardheaded, I get lost Plenty - but there is wisdom behind these eyes for all of it..

In all of my wisdom, I've constructed a better Christmas to cater to my beliefs and my future children.. Ha


Thursday, December 10, 2009

Capricorn Horoscope for week of December 10, 2009

Capricorn Horoscope for week of December 10, 2009
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
In his book The Way of Transition, William Bridges defines the "neutral zone" as "that in-between time, after you've let go of your old life and before you have fully discovered and incorporated your new life." Sound familiar? Maybe the neutral zone where you're currently simmering isn't as dramatic as that -- maybe you haven't been stripped of every single certainty and you're not wandering in limbo. But I suspect you have at least let go of one aspect of your old familiar rhythm and have yet to ease into the one that'll be familiar in the future. My advice? Don't rush it. Get all you can out of this unique and educational time in the neutral zone.

- Horoscope courtesy of Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology

Talking to myself..

Ok. So I spend a lot of time either on Twitter or on Photoshop, nowadays. And between one and the other I've lately been catching myself reading people's blogs! Now I'm usually not a fan of this process - I don't proclaim to be some awesomely talented/original writer. I hardly practice the art form.. I'm basically the upper-stratum douche bag type that thinks "is this really how you write/think??" all the while lazying about, letting a billion thoughts bounce around in my head that I never try to get across to an audience. At least these other blogs made an effort, right? Ha

So I figure what the Hell, I'll throw my hat back in, even if I'm speaking to my own echo for a while. Perhaps just give myself a space to work things out, and in such digital public fashion that in 10 years, there will be a profile and analysis of my understanding of the world that Google will then use to show me ads catered to my mindset and get me to buy shit. Que Bueno..

I imagine that this blog could potentially go off in a few different directions at once.. I am considering a varied set of applications for this blog. So, some important things to understand about me are as such:
  • I'm a Digital Retoucher and owner of 2200 Designs LLC, a very small graphics design firm. This is the current status of my ambitions, and as this grows to be my focus so shall it grow as a presence in my blog.
  • I'm a wisdom seeking youth. I'm hard-headed, overly passionate (at times), all the while aloof and ignorant.. I'm still not fully aware of my failings, success. And I've yet dreams to realize.. I think far too often, and expect that a large portion of these thoughts need be expressed here.
  • I'm Fuckin Silly/Nutz, SON!! Ha I like to have fun. I cuss allll the fuckin time. Can help it. Why? And so you have my social presence - I feel it as essential as the soul if my blog is to flourish and thrive...  Don't really give a fuck about that, honestly. I'm just not interested in Not being myself on my own damn blog.. Haha.
So yeah - I'm not crazy, just multitasking. Ballinnnn :)