Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Can You Hear My Tweet's Echo?

Just some musings that I thought to throw together from a timeline rant. May serve me well to better relate these ideas into more than 140-character blips at some point in time, but I feel assured that the message all the same hits quite effectively in such a format. I'll ask that we all consider these thoughts - I mean, that's all that they are - you can do with them what you will from there.. I am just overjoyed to have yet another opportunity to express to you my point of view... However flawed :)

The most profound Truths will apply to the most things. If the facade of reality is separation and partiality, what is Truth that is defined as such?
For those seeking wisdom, seeking peace, seeking knowledge- it would seem Wise to consider that framing of all things..
So many of our truths are based on these dividing concepts, these spacial constructs, these segregated perceptions..
Not seeing that You may perhaps be the breakdown between us All into parts. Parts you've the eye to distinguish but not truly See..
People you've the force and stance to hate but not the patience and will to Understand..
Minds you've the ability to wrongly classify as either conscious or not. Alive or dead. Wake or sleep.
Why are we so eager to find/define an enemy, yet so unable to see that we are equally defined in so doing?
Why are we then so incapable of seeing the direct link and bond that lies therein?
I speak to my black brothers/sisters, whom so focus on their distaste for their description of their enemy that they not see their reflection.
The passion that we exude is precious and at All times the very most beautiful thing I could ever imagine. I bare witness to glory each day.
But you've got to wake up, sometime. You've got to see that you/we/them/us/All the One won't get anywhere with such thinking.
You define them through your perception, and thusly your very physical and real self is defined; again - through them.
Where is the Self in that?? Who are You, BEYOND the Hater of Them. The Hater of Their Ideals or Their Greed or Their Trespasses. Who Are YOU?
My love for you helps me See you. If I were blind to your experience then I am blind to ALL pain and All trespass.
But my passion to love you makes me just want to shake the Shit out of a lot of you, sometimes. If only to blur your sight, gain you a new focus.
You'll express more distaste than you will love, and soon lose sight of love completely. Then, what and where will your purpose have gone?
If you believe in a Devil - that's Exactly what he does. Guide you to hate.
As I see it, though, the Devil is as much Us as God is. You are both to praise and to blame. To revere and to condemn.
There's as much sadness in this world as you'll imagine.... And so, too, is there joy. Irrelevant of the circumstances behind either state..
You just have to Choose to fucking see it..
I don't know about you, but I abhor the idea that my future children will grow up where hate and disparity are used for "Good"... It Never works..
Perhaps I need a gray beard however, to spout the most simple yet significant of Truths.. We're just so much more and so much better than this..
Stop Hitting YourSelf. Stop Hating YourSelf. Stop Fighting YourSelf. Realize YOU ARE Yourself. Love Yourself. Practice Unity WithIn & Out of Yourself.
No one does well to fight against himself.. His being. He who loses himself loses all. Have you Lost Yourself to the concept of your "enemy"?
Do you love yourself through hating 'Them'? Can you? And by loving yourself unconditionally, can you Still not feel any closeness to 'Them'?

#LeSigh.... I just want you all to be Free.. United in ambitious search for Self Truth, not in Defense from some hateful distant mirage...

Sunday, February 7, 2010

My Take On The "Consistent Mind"

These are some 'simple' musings brought to consideration by a dear friend - this is a moreso detailed version of the conversation as it played out via first an email, then Twitter (Me) :)

"Is it possible that the mind lives constantly. Psychoanalytic, multi-minded, triple life living human/creature beings?"

Me: Thoughts- If not the mind I'm sure that some form or essence of the spirit of a man lives on eternally and beyond the boarders of his current or original form.. Maybe a replica of the rhythm that his soul sang too exists even after the last wave leaves him?

@joskidiesel So would you say that the mind is tangible? Or can be? Can I put urs in a bottle?? For duplicating?

Me: Whilst jumpin in n out of dreamland I thought about this question quite a bit.. Seems rather complex ha. Here are my findings: 

I certainly think the mind is tangible. I consider it the part of your human vessel that computes the consciousness of your Self for you to present to the world. 

- But I think too that from birth the forces present, from the people around you to where the planets and stars are positioned have some affect on How you think and Who you are.. So even if I were born again with all of my old thoughts and memories, but born near say Jupiter, would that not have some baring on How I analyze things? I wouldn't imagine that I'd have the same rhythm to my being.. same Self.

@joskidiesel So are you saying that the mind is tangible, which makes Self, but Self is circumstantial, dependent on many factors, and not able to duplicate?

Me: The Mind is tangible, and physical, yes, but Self and soul are not, and I don't feel as though the mind makes the Self. Yes, Self is to me seemingly 'circumstantial' but that's more in regards to the energies affected not so particularly the physical being those energies compose. Thus without some mastery of time and space, unable to be replicated. The mind is just a means to physically express the potential of that energy in a Universe of similarly combined/composed energy. 

@joskidiesel So its more a representation, than a single entity?

Me: I'd probably say just a means of translation. Potential for your potential energy to present itself in beautiful 'real', physical fashion.. 

Obviously I don't Know anymore than anyone else lmao.. But I guess that's just how I'd see it.. 

Friday, February 5, 2010

Destiny: Your Force You're Drawn Toward

Ha! So for the first time, evaaa I'm in twitterjail... :( I actually kinda feel like a ballin ass thug.. lmao But onto seriousness.

The timing is actually rather inopportune because I just came back to my computer with this interesting idea I wanted to share. I went onto one of my random "picture this" tangents in my head, this time regarding Destiny, and I thought of a rather interesting way to picture my interpretation of it. First, a few other thoughts..

For those who've ever really gotten to know me for my understanding of the Universe, you'll know a few things - one really important point for this discussion is that I don't believe in 'random', and that my studies in Quantum Physics do nothing much to change that. For events/scenarios that we cannot seemingly interpret in a physical realm I am all too certain that there are otherworldly explanations - but as we are thus far incapable of acknowledging these realms (we as a collective would most likely need to be open mentally to them in order to 'see' them), we call what we can not see/figure out 'random'. It seems like a great placeholder word, and I use it as such. But I do not believe in the preconception that there is no explanation for any event that transpires. Every thing that seems to happen is the result some countless variables working on the energy/particles that compose the subject.

When you put it that way, you were supposed to be here. You were born to be exactly who you are. In that you are infinitely important - you are the only you that could be, based on the 'will' of the very Universe. Freewill and the implications regarding it are probably fodder for another blog, but as I see it - Hell, you still think you have choice, you still decide to choose - so free will is alive and well. Perception. But I digress.

Another is that we are defined and constantly affected by the energies that compose all things in this Universe.. Some bundles of energy produce stronger waves, or are closer to us in some sense or another, and thusly affect us more strongly than others, but everything produces its own ripples, everything has its own affect on everything else. As light effects what we see and how we see it. As sound too has it's own frequencies and rhythms. I believe, too, that each of us have our own frequencies and our own rhythms. And that those are each first set perhaps at birth and refined throughout your life, but largely remain the same (you are who you are)..

So where am I going with this? How do I correlate these conceptions into a furthering of my world view.. And destiny..?  Well think about this: Because there is no random, and we are all composed of the energies that have and will always exist within the Universe (then assuming that the Universe itself will not at some time end - or that that is all there is..) isn't destiny an easier concept to believe accept? Further still, and here comes the picture, for all the waves out there that affect us with every moment, in such chaotic fashion as to seem random, what if some other waves or forces are so very strong, that their direction remains unaltered, regardless of other pushes?

Picture This: You drop a ball, and gravity pulls it to the ground. Maybe perhaps the wind is blowing and the ball is pushed to the left or right. Or maybe perhaps the ball bounces off of something else before it hits the ground.. In the end, does it not hit the ground all the same?

That's how I'd define look at Destiny. Some force - some event or string of events that your energy is drawn to with such force that the other waves of energy have but so much affect on it's route, and thus, that energy reaching that destination.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Self Versus Reality: My Mission Statement

A great person and friend, Jovonna DuzyaRealliwanaariguez decided to my grace and great pleasure/chagrin to help me with the real-world task and obvious necessity of getting a job. That one (simple?) sentence alone should show well enough that I'm being a bit of a baby and presenting some minor yet still unfair and surely unwarranted hint of resistance. There's a lot that goes into my reasoning here, but I feel it's in my best interests to express this as simply as possible. So here I go - be sure to let me know that I'm being a baby through this process - I'm certainly not being what would be considered the social construct of an "Adult" - I quite obviously need a dose or two of reality.

Ugh, how to put this. 
Ok so Why am I being a little bitch? (ha) I want things for myself, surely. This year alone, I want to get a huge ass tattoo, I want the option of moving out to California, I want to travel - all these things require money. So naturally the 'working' part isn't my concern.. Its not the process of looking for a job, either. I've been burned (Badly) in my past on that front, surely. But I've always been superbly optimistic, if not full of confidence in my rather vast cloud of capabilities. I think it was when asked two specific and as you will see rather realistic and worldly questions that something inside of my chest soured to the whole task and mission:

1. List some organizations that you would like to work for..?
2. What is your 6 month/1 year goals/aspirations?

I guess the implication is that this whole process wouldn't at all bother me if either of those questions didn't exist. But when you see the two questions a third arises: "Why in the Fuck do they matter to me at all?" I feel more inclined to answer the 3rd thus far.

1. Well this is rather simple.. Maybe. I'm lazy. Ha! I thought about this. And it comes down to me not wanting to look around for companies that I'd like to work for.. I couldn't possibly care less - if I had my way I'd make enough money doing freelance and building my Own company to cover my living and playing and exploring expenses. Alas, this is not so. Therefore it matters not to me.. I think that that realization alone diminishes the value/concern of question #1.. 
I'll just get over that one and just find some list of places I that will provide what I seek in regards to employment: Freedom (ha), health coverage (?), and if not some means to express my creativity and/or individuality, then something that only needs me for the mundane tasks of typing shit, fixing technical problems, answering phones, etc. I can sell (well) but my heart and soul are Not there, anymore. And honestly, childish, foolish, naive or otherwise - I will not readily sell myself to some employ and lose all of the progress I've made mentally and spiritually, breaking myself and going against my Self, making someone else rich... Few things will I be more passionate about.

So, Question #2. In 6-12 months I don't foresee any progression in my 'real', financial, or social gains beyond that which comes from my personal, perspective-related, and spiritual growths. That's not to say that I have no ambitions. Or that I don't expect any changes in my life. Or that I intend to lazy about for the rest of my days.. Though I've few words to give to you any other respectable explanation. My life over this past month, alone has changed so absolutely and fully ('Full' in such a many different ways) and so beautifully. I'm brought to understand that which I've always been aware of for myself - that I will find my way, that though I will practice for Years upon many being lost and confused, whenever I find my way I will see, and I will Understand. I know in my heart of hearts that I am destined for Great things. I always have. My only problem of course in this real world of problems aplenty and desires amassed is that I have no clue what that "greatness" is or what it entails. Still, when I silence the world around me and look inside, I'm told, "Just wait and see; It'll all be clear; In time; You will soon see; I promise you, Cory, it'll come". 

I've had plennnntyy a hard time. I've moved around since I can remember. I've lost so many close ones. I've been destitute. I've been homeless. I've been heartbroken. I've been weak. I've been scared. I've been broken. And when I have Nothing at all else in this world, and I'm thinking and freaking out and scared shitless and full of distrust and hatred for myself and that goddamn message - doing everything in my power to ignore it and 'settle'.. or otherwise fight a tide of being that is just so much stronger than my mind and vessel - under the chaos of my battered mind and the ever-brutal world affecting it, the very same stream of reassurance remains.. As profound as any truth, spoken or not. As soothing and unswayed as the omniscient Universe..

A point always comes, eventually. No matter how worldly or mystical the trial. No matter how dyer or minuscule the the circumstances. There Always has come a point where things get better, and I'm So much bigger and better for the struggle. For all the time spent confused, dazed, lost, looking down roads I've never seen and up at signs I don't expect to recall, I come out of that maze with a fuller sense of Self, my surroundings, and my Way.. And with the most polite, sincere and beautiful smile my heart says: "See? I told you so..." I've just so very recently experienced these words again, after the hardest list of ordeals I have ever experienced in all of my thus-far short life. I am alive. I am more alive than I have ever been. I am free - freer than ever, as well. I am ok - I'm happy.. As was and is always promised.

That's my belief. That's my religion.. My Self. And as with most fools who believe in anything, the real world takes a back seat, sometimes. That voice inside is telling me to remain patient and take this year to grow, to Listen, to evolve as a person. To Love. And that all the greatness that is destined to me is somewhere along my way......

Bringing it alllllll back, that's why Question #2 is a problem - that "bullshit" I just spewed means nothing in a real world, but Everything to me. And I still need a job. lol. So there's my conundrum..

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Happiness is a Facet of Being

This came to me while listening to music and wondering, "Why is that any 'happy' song that I've heard seems so 'thin'? Just hearts and tulips, running through grassy fields, smiles and cheer - but no depth or substance?" - or that if there is in fact some weight to that song, there are hints and whispers of melancholy involved.. I wonder if many/any would agree here. If not I'd certainly suggest leaving song titles in the comment section because this is the assertion that I make and maintain throughout, and if it is so I'd like to find circumstances in which I'm wrong, here.

It just seems that I tend to like "depressing songs" a lot. Sad failed loves, loneliness, despair, darkness.. But I do, I think, not for their emotional content, but the depth of such expressed emotion... And I realized then that "happy" as some form of expression is such a superficial one.. I've always wondered why there's more to feel in sadness than happiness, and it seems to me now that its not because I've not experienced happiness (as I afore thought), but that in the depths of even happiness there's what we define probably instinctively as sadness. Or fear. Or the contrast between this smile and some more painful moment, or the experience of the world, which is commonly more painful. I'm sure that we all subconsciously feel the collective soul is in a state of madness and sorrow..

Maybe experience tells us that there is indeed sorrow in and around all things.. I'm not sure that I believe this... Just that depth implies expression of so much more than the face and front of happiness. I feel we may misinterpret that feeling as something negative only because a smile or laugh isn't specifically implied/expressed. I don't know... I just imagine that it has more to do with happiness being just a "State" of being; just a side, just a part, just a facet - and when its taken at a level more nuanced than face-value, and if all things  are indeed connected - merely defined/split per Our definition and classification - then you will naturally find connections to other things...

There's beauty in that.. That connection.. Because it then takes so much emphasis off of being happy or not being sad or angry - and illuminates just how much more important it is, just being.. I don't suggest that hatred and any other extremes are therefor acceptable or "good" - I can hardly accept any extreme to be. But in the considerations of finding your balance or finding your Self or otherwise just living your life; how 'freeing' is it - the whisper of an idea that in the end, so long as you are being truest to your inner self, whatever state it may be in at any time, is exactly how you should be living your life?

Love and Trust in Yourself.