Friday, June 4, 2010

Silent War Cry Against Old Love

I don't know exactly where I want to go with this, Peace.. How it ought be written.. How I might express these sentiments... This is frustration with a smile. This is me shaking my head with a chuckle inside. This is a warm heart, happy in the way that I See, though few see as I do. This is my silent war cry against old Love.

And oh, how it blows this romantic's mind that such words be drafted from his person. Five years a fore and I'd have never fathomed this state. I am truly such a romantic of elder times - find a wall to tear down together. Stand firm as stone against all storms. Live to breathe the very breaths she's finished with... Yes, I believed in such love once.. My beliefs swam in the lucid dream of a happily ever after, days long past...

And yet, here I stand today.. And now, I see such a dream differently.

I See that such a dream is that of my own making.. And when I wake from it unto Truth I See that to do so much to hold onto a person that has passed her season in my world as quite akin to someone holding onto Winter in the light of Spring.. To force another into some empty space within me is too similar to jamming puzzle pieces from another box and image unto my own.. And I no longer see joy in the idea of finding some other to help strangle my Thought with lust-filled Emotion. No... I want to be Free to experience a person not for my perceptions and hopes and Expectations - but for a new view through their perspective.. A peak into the deepest whispers of their souls, perhaps to gaze upon their ambitions.. With no expectations beyond that within this very moment, her Light is Mine to partake in.. Her rhythm mine to sway to.. Her vibrations mine to share.

My Love is as Universal as waves of Light - not as simple as fairy tales and Disney movies. It's not as temporal and minimal as a daily ride along the lower vibrations; that which rattles loose my inhibitions and shakes Free my more lustful essence.. It's not as desperate as keeping her as close as I may, with a mind that this lover is separate of me, such that I need not feel alone.. It's not as naive as the search on the choppy oceans of love for that 1 and only perfect person for me that exists such that I might live the fullness of the dream I'm told I should have had since I was 8.. I'm not looking for a one and only to fill and complete me and make me all that I might ever be... I can't look to another to do any such thing. There will never be another person that can do that for you.. And if you Give someone that ability, then you Give someone the opportunity to take that away from you. And as any other has but their own Way to go, when your paths come to part, only then will you see it. Love and believe and encourage and achieve for Your Self. Save yourself such needless heartache due to your emotional tentacles strangling away what True Love really is.. Due to the Expectations your Ego impresses upon another human being along his or her Own Way..

We are meant to ride the waves of one another.. We are supposed to love all, sure, but me - I tend to fall for energy that caters to my own.. To waves that amplify my own.. To music that touches my very core and makes my very Soul sway. I can feel that to varying degrees with many another.. And as I find My Way and My Self, I come to find more and more individuals with whom this force is all the more potent.. and beautiful.. and intense.. I am constantly attracted to the Light that does best to expose my own.. And deflected from such frequencies that fall harshly on my inner Sense..

So no, and I am sorry, but I am not Seeking Love from any One when Love is all around me.. Not looking for any One to complete that which is and has always and shall always be complete - not just within my Self, but through All others. I'm not looking to be saved. I'm not looking to save any other One.  I'm not looking to give into Expectation... But the Season.. The moment.. The instant..... And the infinite Love therein.

As such - I ask that you sing me a song... And dance with me.. As I dance to you... In the breathless infinitude of this very moment.. And you will have my eyes.. And you will have my heart.. For as long as our forever is in Season.

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