Friday, September 3, 2010

In Short, My Views On Marriage

This is a comment I made on a dear friend's blog with regards to the institution of marriage, and how I See it. I definitely recommend checking out her post as well (, for a better understanding of what I'm responding to:

I think that it is pretty well known that I am Not to date a supporter of marriage (more specifically, marriage in its/our current state). I don't believe in the institution, and I most certainly do not believe that what it stood for in earnest once is what it stands for, now.

Now yes, I do See where you are coming from - I too share the view that profound love should be expressed towards all relationships (All: Lovers, Enemies, Nature, Meals), and that means wholesome compassion and understanding. An eagerness to See their view. But I don't See the assertion that that should then apply to mean Selfless Devotion to any one character in your life. I don't See that that should mean I keep another soul from their Way just because we are bound together in matrimony. I don't See that if the Season for the person I've loved is expiring, that against all Will of the Universe, I shall fight to maintain what I consider tantamount to stagnation..

In regards to communal responsibility, I again am also of such a Sight - it does indeed take a village. But things have changed (as they will, and shall forever). The world has both grown smaller and more populated. Faster. And no longer is the village our village, but the World's our village. For all the good and all the bad that entails. And perhaps you should have close friends to help see you through your troubles, but seldom are we so fortunate, and when there Are those so indeed blessed, you must too be Aware of to what ends or perspective gains these friends or family members offer such assistance.

I Trust in change. I therefor have faith in Seasons. I will eagerly spend all of my days with a single heart if such is my destiny. I may spend a lifetime dancing between seasons and beautiful hearts that love me as I love them - Not (just) romantically but wholly, profoundly, otherworldly - for as long as their individual Seasons last.. I resolve to maintain the sanctity of our Connection, our relationship, our Bond by Love and Truth.. I do not think that that is made worse without the ring and contractual obligations. I don't think that that is made better with such things, either.

The times have Changed, and marriage has lost its very light and soul to the letter.

In my view..


Part 2: (again, check the link above to see to whom/what I am responding :)
I'm commenting again, here, as to permit me responding to the both of you. Naturally this is a topic that has firm basis in belief so I don't really want to accidentally go too far and offend my dear sweethearts - so please bare with me as I try to find the right words for my View. :)

I again find it to be such a beautiful thing that there are people that believe in the institution as more than what scrappish remnants of it remain today. If to you this bond in matrimony is a spiritual one, then who am I to say what it means to me should apply to you? No one, put simply and honestly, and I would never aim to push my views to suggest that they should Too be Your views.

Marriage is to Me, however, in mine eyes, in my heart - means nothing. The institution isn't worth fighting for to me as it seems to be a regressing step in human nature - that which in any right denies Freedom, to me, is False. Not to suggest that I'm of the mind that people should go about gallivanting along with multiple partners at his/her whim - not at all. I'm loyal to women who have my heart, and such disloyalty is weakness of Ego and proof of a false love in my view. But when it comes to the point where someone suggests that a contract, the threat of "half", a material ring, or how family, friends, or any other peripheral (however close the relation, they too are External) entity might view you or your decisions as the only reason(s) why you are with someone who you are miserable with, it breaks my heart. For just as with Anything that Forces some (+) ideal on someone, it defeats its very purpose.

Marriage Does become a matter of ownership, not partnership (to some). Marriage does become a matter of stagnation of spiritual growth and Self evolution (for others), and often does it too become a matter of obligations to Expectations (matters of the Ego) before acknowledgement of the mutual and simpatico spirit.

Not suggesting that fear of such things should be reason not to marry - I'm just suggesting that if these are things that come of marriage these days (more so because in these times people have lost love and respect for Self and thus expect it to be fed them via their betrothed), then something is wrong with the institution. Or perhaps with the people involved. Or the common (mis/pre)conception of what a marriage should in fact be. I know of more women in my age group with this Expectation that marriage is wholly akin to Disney fodder of the Cinderella and Beauty & the Beast and Little Mermaid brands. I don't think it is. And if this is the common current view of marriage and love in general then I feel that ought be addressed Before seeking another's hand.

I find evolution lies in the connections with all man-kind.. I too find that I am the only constant that, as I breathe, I should hope/expect to experience (and even Then I in all matters, am changing/evolving). This is expressed as part of a larger understanding within me. Perhaps I will find someone to grow in all ways for all days with. But that is no reason to deny myself all the rest of the world, lo, the Universe, even, in the whole of my expansion. In fact to do so would be to deny my Self a Universe x A Lifetime of essential mirrors. While I cannot say that marriage Will in fact do this, the everyday concept of what it is, Now, will surely make it more likely, due to what I see as a false (and cruel) sense of entitlement/ownership, the failings and indoctrinations of the ego (jealousy, envy, rage), and such lacking in Self Love that my own Love (normally expansive, whole, and overflowing) now need to be directed, singular, and painfully stilted..

Again, a lot of what ifs.. But too, do I find that to practice Love -truest, unfathomable Love- and to practice Loyalty, and to practice Honor and Reverence, and to practice Respect for your Own needs as well as the needs of your partner -- To Feel the Whole of the connection between two/7billion formless essences.. To be utterly and limitlessly compassionate -- None of these things are understandings or abilities kept/maintained by a ring or marriage, and as such Love is all I believe in, I don't feel inclined to introduce unto my existence yet another tether to the past and grounding from our rightful place in the Free Skies..

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